Fire Red
sometimes you need a colour with absolutely no emotional subtlety # Fire red. Nails today. I have spent months surrounded by pinks, black, cream, gold, autumn colours, soft things, controlled...
Beauty & Art
ECLIXAR
digital diary
Journal.
fragments of quiet intelligence
There is a manner in which certain things ask to be written, not so that they may be found, but because to exist in silence, for too long, eventually becomes insufficient. It is not urgency. It is something closer to a necessity that makes no noise, waiting patiently until it discovers the proper form. This archive was born in such a way.
Not as a diary. Not as a blog. Not as something that is updated merely for the sake of appearing alive. It is a place where certain thoughts come to rest, those which do not dissolve, those which return, those which insist with the silent obstinacy of things that truly belong to you...
Every article is a scene. Every word, a frame of something that would not have remained, had it not
been writtenFrom the archive.
Questions & Musings
A Refrigerator Full of Incompatible Things
his shelf looks like a student survived there, mine looks like somebody expects vegetables to matter # Our refrigerator is a psychological profile. Mine says I occasionally intend to cook...
Music & Sound
Play On
apparently I have reached the stage where a new country album can coexist peacefully with hardcore in the same room # Carrie Underwood’s Play On has been occupying my speakers,...
Logic & Form
The First Serious Grocery Shop
apparently food doesn’t materialize in refrigerators just because two people are in love # The first serious grocery shop. Not «pick up dinner». Not milk and coffee. Actual trolley. Actual...
Essence & Future
Home
it took less time than expected for the word to stop feeling borrowed # Home. I said it to Mom today without noticing. «I’ll go home after work and bring...
Journey & Time
The Sunday When We Don’t Have to Go Anywhere
no bag packed for later, no clock counting down the afternoon, nowhere else required # The Sunday when we don’t have to go anywhere. That sounds stupid until you’ve spent...
Affinity & Heart
Breakfast in the Centre
Saturday morning without rushing anywhere is almost suspicious # Breakfast in the centre because we woke late and neither of us wanted to cook. I wore sunglasses despite November because...
Affinity & Heart
Our First Morning Together
morning romance is mostly asking who used the hot water and whether there is coffee # Our first proper weekday morning together. Alarm. Darkness. Confusion. Yuri occupying more bed than...
Affinity & Heart
Two Toothbrushes
seven years of love distilled into two toothbrushes arguing for space in one glass # Two toothbrushes. I know this is disgustingly domestic and I apologize to my younger self,...
Affinity & Heart
First Night
technically we have slept beside each other hundreds of times, apparently changing the address changes everything # First night. Properly. Not staying over. Not «I have clothes here anyway». Not...
Questions & Musings
Winters of the Mood
sometimes the season outside and the season inside refuse to synchronize # I was thinking today about winters of the mood, which is not the same thing as being sad...
Essence & Future
The Last Things to Bring
there is always one more bag, and apparently it is always mine # The last things to bring are never the last things. This is fraud perpetrated by possessions. You...
Why?
Because every thought leaves a trace. If something moved you, disturbed you, softened you, or made you think, leave it here, quietly.