Paasmaandag

The second day of Easter exists primarily to prove that one holiday was not quite enough. I support this institution. #

Paasmaandag. No alarm. No need to turn myself into a professional person before coffee. No need to get on the bicycle unless I wanted to. I woke late and remained in bed even after waking because Yuri was still there and the room was bright and nobody required us anywhere. There are luxuries I would have described differently at twenty. Now one of the greatest is waking without being summoned by a sound. We talked for a while about nothing, which is one of the hardest things to describe and one of the most intimate. Little observations. A joke. Something about yesterday. Something about what we might do today. No decision. Eventually coffee won. Breakfast was late enough to become vulnerable to reclassification as lunch, but I refuse. Breakfast is determined by sequence, not clock. We ate leftovers too, because holidays generate food in quantities that imply incoming famine. I wore almost no makeup at first, then changed my mind before going out because I enjoy makeup and have grown tired of pretending doing something for myself requires external justification. A little foundation, mascara, gloss, hair brushed properly. Jeans, boots, coat. Sunglasses. We went outside without a plan. That was the plan. The centre was busy but not frantic. We walked, stopped, looked at shops, bought coffee, sat for a while. I saw flowers and did not buy them. Please note this extraordinary display of discipline. At one point we stood beside a canal without talking. A boat passed. Somebody behind us was laughing. Sunlight moved across the water. I felt no need to turn it into anything larger. That is one change I like in myself. I used to seize every peaceful moment and immediately interrogate it for meaning. Now sometimes a canal is a canal and happiness is simply standing beside it with the person I love while my coffee is still warm. We came home in the afternoon and I changed into comfortable clothes immediately. Tea at five. Four biscuits, untouched by hostile forces because Yuri had something else. I read. He did his thing. Music low. Later we ate leftovers again, and somehow they tasted better because no cooking was required. I looked at the site but did not do anything complicated. Holiday boundaries. Tomorrow work returns. Fine. I like work. I also like not doing it. These positions coexist peacefully. Tonight I am slightly reluctant for the long weekend to end, but not because I am trying to escape my normal life. Quite the opposite. A holiday feels good because normal life is good enough to return to.

Remember me, Eclipse.