Planning Is a Strong Word

Yesterday we made a King’s Day plan. Today we admitted it is mostly decorative. #

Planning is a strong word. We have intentions. We intend to leave at a certain time. We intend to go in a certain direction. We intend to look at certain areas of the vrijmarkt. We intend to eat before becoming desperately hungry. We intend not to buy useless things. That final sentence proves the entire plan is fiction. I like plans even when I know they will fail because they give anticipation a shape. Yuri is less interested in this. His strategy is basically we’ll see, which has the advantage of being impossible to disprove. I want a framework. Then I happily abandon it. Perhaps that is my entire personality in one sentence. Today was Sunday and the orange accessory remained safely where I put it yesterday, which I checked because I know what happens when I put something somewhere specifically so I will not lose it. I lose the memory of the safe location. This time I remembered. Victory. We had a slow day. Coffee, late breakfast, some cleaning, music. I put country on and Yuri said, «Not hardcore?» «Sunday.» Apparently our household now has genre scheduling. I answered comments on the site and found myself reading old King’s Day and Queen’s Day posts. That is another strange privilege of keeping this archive so long. I can watch myself learn traditions in public. Earlier posts explain things I no longer need explained. The vocabulary changes. At first every Dutch word arrived with translation. Now I type vrijmarkt and keep moving. Language becomes normal in the archive before I consciously recognise it in myself. I like those accidental records more than deliberate progress reports. Tea at five. Four biscuits. One briefly threatened by Yuri, who decided against it after seeing my face. Training works. Later we walked and saw more orange appearing. Shop windows, little decorations, hints. The city is loading. I took no photographs today, which feels worth recording because it proves I am capable. The Olympus stayed home. My phone stayed mostly in my bag. I looked. I came back. I remember enough. Tonight I am writing in bed rather than at the table, laptop warm against my legs, Yuri beside me already half interested in sleep. I told him I was writing about our planning. «What planning?» Exactly.

Remember me, Eclipse.