school is ending too slowly

everybody keeps saying “the last few weeks” as though that makes them move faster. #

School is strange now. We are still doing normal things but everything has an invisible `”last”` attached. Last stretch. Last tests. Last time this, last time that. Teachers are simultaneously sentimental and determined to make sure we suffer until the final possible second. I am doing well. Very well, actually. And still nervous. Again: good marks do not vaccinate against anxiety. I went out tonight because after staring at notes all afternoon I had reached the point where reading another page would only move my eyes, not information.

Yuri says I will be fine.

Everybody says I will be fine.

I know I will probably be fine.

This does not magically make my stomach consult the evidence.

Remember me, Eclipse.