The Outside Part

Saturday. Another party. The part nobody describes properly is outside afterwards. Inside everybody is indestructible because there are lights and bass and movement and you’re too warm and somebody is always shouting something directly into your ear. Then you walk outside at four or five in the morning and everybody becomes seventeen again. Jackets zipped to the chin. Somebody needs water. Somebody has lost something. Somebody wants to sit down on a curb. Makeup has migrated. Nobody can hear correctly. Plans for getting home suddenly seem much less brilliant than they did at eleven. Hikari was wrapped in her coat looking completely composed except for her hair, which was evidence against her. Erick claimed he wasn’t tired and yawned while saying it. Tia wanted food. I wanted my bed but also didn’t want the night to be over yet. That’s the contradiction I never know how to explain. Sometimes you’re exhausted and uncomfortable and cold and still think, not yet.

Remember me, Eclipse.