valerio, apparently

I wasn’t going to write about this because there was never anything to write until today. #

I have never written about Valerio because there was never much to write. We went out once, maybe twice, and that was it. No tragic secret, no lost love, no enormous story hidden from the blog. I didn’t think it belonged here because it wasn’t important enough to turn into a chapter of my life. Today he appeared on MSN after ages and we talked completely normally. No drama, no strange nostalgia. At some point he told me about his girlfriend. I didn’t even know he had one until today. Fine. He sent me her blog, I think because he was proud of it or just showing me what she does. I opened it.

And then I actually said `”WTF?”` aloud to an empty room.

I know I’ve complained about similarities before. This was different because there were so many very specific things sitting together. Layout structure that looked extremely familiar to me, sidebar things, phrases, graphics, profile details. And Bambolina. Again Bambolina. The private nickname Yuri started calling me, the one that moved onto MSN because of him. I’m staring at this girl’s page thinking, what is she doing with my nickname? Then other little things started jumping out and after a while it was impossible for me to look at the page neutrally anymore. Maybe because I’ve already been annoyed about this for months, maybe because the similarities genuinely are too specific. Probably both.

I ended up asking her something close to `”But excuse me, is there anything here you actually made yourself?”` Not my most diplomatic moment. She denied copying anything. Fine. What am I supposed to do, open an Internet tribunal? Valerio seemed mostly confused and I don’t think he showed me the page to start drama at all. If anything, he accidentally walked into something that apparently existed without him knowing.

Then later she posts `Odio la falsità e l’ipocrisia`.

I actually laughed.

Maybe it wasn’t about me. Maybe it was. I have no idea and I’m not going to pretend I can read minds. But after a conversation where I said I thought she had copied things and she said she hadn’t, seeing `”I hate falseness and hypocrisy”` sitting there was… well. The irony wrote itself from where I was sitting.

The weirdest part is still Valerio. Not emotionally. Just structurally. Someone I barely have a story with appears after ages, casually sends me his girlfriend’s blog, and suddenly I’m looking at something that feels like a distorted mirror of my own page. If this were a film I’d complain that the script was unrealistic.

Anyway, I am going to bed.

This was supposed to be a normal Saturday.

Remember me, Eclipse.