Welcome October

October entered the apartment before I did. You can smell it now in M. especially in the mornings. Cold marble floors. Elevator metal. Wet leaves beginning to rot quietly near the sidewalks. Summer disappearing from people’s skin. Mom was already awake when I came into the kitchen, wearing black as usual, reading sketches for a necklace commission while “Angel” filled the entire apartment like a warning. I swear… That perfume enters a room five minutes before the person wearing it… Patchouli, vanilla, something dark underneath. Too adult. Too expensive. Like the scent equivalent of knowing exactly what to say at dinner parties.

School feels real now. That’s the worst part of October. September still contains illusion. By October everybody understands where they belong socially and starts acting accordingly.

The loud girls became louder.
The silent people became invisible.
Certain couples already behave like divorced aristocrats despite dating for twelve minutes.
Teenagers are exhausting.

This morning I watched condensation on the tram windows while everybody around me looked half-asleep and emotionally defensive. Milan in October always feels slightly annoyed at humanity.

Honestly relatable.

Mom says autumn is elegant because it removes excess.
Dad says autumn means traffic and people becoming depressed earlier in the day.

Again: their divorce explained accidentally through philosophy.

I wore a little bit of Angel before leaving.
Just one spray.
Immediately felt like a recently widowed millionaire.
Maybe I’ll wait until I’m at least seventeen.

OCTOBER.
Remember me,
Eclipse