A Conversation Postponed
there is now officially a conversation in my life with its own scheduling problems # We were supposed to talk tonight. Finally. Hikari said yesterday, «Tomorrow, okay?» I said yes...
Affinity & Heart
ECLIXAR
digital diary
Journal.
fragments of quiet intelligence
There is a manner in which certain things ask to be written, not so that they may be found, but because to exist in silence, for too long, eventually becomes insufficient. It is not urgency. It is something closer to a necessity that makes no noise, waiting patiently until it discovers the proper form. This archive was born in such a way.
Not as a diary. Not as a blog. Not as something that is updated merely for the sake of appearing alive. It is a place where certain thoughts come to rest, those which do not dissolve, those which return, those which insist with the silent obstinacy of things that truly belong to you...
Every article is a scene. Every word, a frame of something that would not have remained, had it not
been writtenFrom the archive.
Networks & Codes
Online Contests
nothing reveals the human need for validation like a tiny button labelled vote # Online contests fascinate and annoy me in equal measure. Photography, layouts, blogs, whatever. The second voting...
Logic & Form
Happy Pi Day
yes, there was pie, because refusing the joke would have been unnecessarily dignified # There was pie. Obviously. I could have maintained intellectual integrity and celebrated π without baked goods,...
Beauty & Art
Portraits
people become somebody else the second they know a lens is looking # Portraits are difficult because faces are dishonest under observation. Not intentionally. The moment somebody knows the camera...
Affinity & Heart
She Still Hasn’t Told Me Anything
i have achieved the remarkable psychological state of being annoyed by information i do not possess # She still hasn’t told me anything. At this point the mystery itself has...
Journey & Time
Being Left Behind
sometimes everybody else seems to have received instructions for the next stage and yours were lost in the post # There are days when adulthood feels less like growing and...
Journey & Time
Weekends by the Sea
genova is close enough to reach and different enough to reset something in my head # I want a weekend in Genova. Dad asked yesterday when I am coming again...
Laws & Universe
A Hundred Thousand Stars
there are numbers large enough to become poetry whether mathematicians approve or not # More than a hundred thousand stars. I keep coming back to the number because the brain...
Laws & Universe
Looking for Another Earth
not aliens, not little green men, just the much stranger possibility that ordinary worlds are everywhere # The question isn’t really «are there aliens?» despite that being how every conversation...
Questions & Musings
The Four Worst Words in the World
we need to talk should legally require immediate supporting documentation # «We need to talk.» Four words engineered by Satan. I have decided there should be regulations. If you say...
Affinity & Heart
Hikari Says She Needs to Talk to Me
there are ordinary sentences that become sinister entirely because of the person saying them # Hikari says she needs to talk to me. That is the whole problem. If a...
Body & Energy
Rolling More Than Walking
march has arrived and apparently gravity has been increased overnight # I am moving through today by rolling rather than walking, which is probably not medically accurate but feels emotionally...
Why?
Because every thought leaves a trace. If something moved you, disturbed you, softened you, or made you think, leave it here, quietly.