There is a manner in which certain things ask to be written, not so that they may be found, but because to exist in silence, for too long, eventually becomes insufficient. It is not urgency. It is something closer to a necessity that makes no noise, waiting patiently until it discovers the proper form. This archive was born in such a way.
Not as a diary. Not as a blog. Not as something that is updated merely for the sake of appearing alive. It is a place where certain thoughts come to rest, those which do not dissolve, those which return, those which insist with the silent obstinacy of things that truly belong to you...
Thursday. For years Valentine’s Day was excellent anthropology because I could watch everybody else become irrational. This year I have compromised the experiment by acquiring a boyfriend. Yuri gave me...
Saturday. Matrix for Franchino’s birthday. Ricky Le Roy, Kighine, Franchino, the whole atmosphere already turned up before anything had properly started. This was one of those nights where the crowd...
Tuesday. Hikari and Marico are together. She told me after school and tried to maintain dignity for approximately six seconds before smiling. I have waited years for Hikari to become...
Saturday. Hikari: `”I don’t like Marico.”` Also Hikari: spent twenty minutes discussing something Marico said on Thursday. I rest my case. Remember me, Eclipse.
Thursday. School good. Yuri good. Genova good. Tia still capable of extracting information I had no intention of supplying. Edo still attempting to prevent techno from corrupting me from approximately...
Sunday. Went to Genova yesterday morning instead of staying in Milano for the whole weekend, so I arrived at Dad’s carrying too much luggage for one night and not enough...
Saturday. Matrix again. Ricky Le Roy and Zicky. This is becoming dangerous because I can now hear why one set works better for me than another instead of simply deciding...
Sunday. Yuri and I have been together long enough now that the initial novelty has worn off and something better has appeared underneath it: I don’t have to wonder constantly...
Friday. Mathematics 9½. Physics 9. Literature 8½. I am writing the marks because I worked for them and have decided that pretending not to care about things you care about...
Sunday. Mass this morning, lunch with Mom, homework most of the afternoon, tea at five with four biscuits and Enjoy the Silence while I finished physics. Yuri came by later....
Friday. Edo sent me another list from Lecco tonight and labelled it `”homework.”` I told him school already supplies homework. He said school doesn’t supply useful homework. We spent nearly...
Tuesday. School again. Mathematics first thing, which I appreciated because apparently I enjoy suffering when it has variables. Hikari spent lunch mentioning somebody called Marico twice and then insisting she...
Why?
Because every thought leaves a trace. If something moved you, disturbed you, softened you, or made you think, leave it here, quietly.