February
February began with my hair still smelling faintly of last night’s perfume and Yuri stealing the warm side of the bed as if thirteen years together had somehow granted him...
Journey & Time
ECLIXAR
digital diary
Journal.
fragments of quiet intelligence
There is a manner in which certain things ask to be written, not so that they may be found, but because to exist in silence, for too long, eventually becomes insufficient. It is not urgency. It is something closer to a necessity that makes no noise, waiting patiently until it discovers the proper form. This archive was born in such a way.
Not as a diary. Not as a blog. Not as something that is updated merely for the sake of appearing alive. It is a place where certain thoughts come to rest, those which do not dissolve, those which return, those which insist with the silent obstinacy of things that truly belong to you...
Every article is a scene. Every word, a frame of something that would not have remained, had it not
been writtenFrom the archive.
Memory & Time
January / Complete
January contained Paris, Pluto, winter mornings, loud cleaning music and enough ordinary happiness to hold all of it without pretending the world is simple. # January complete. I don’t know...
Questions & Musings
Little Things
The little things are not what happens between life. They are most of it. # Fresh flowers on the table. Coffee exactly right. Finding five euros in a coat pocket....
Memory & Time
Memory
Memory is not the opposite of forgetting unless we allow it to become something we only perform once a year. # Seventy years today since Auschwitz-Birkenau was liberated. I have...
History & Places
The City at Nine in the Morning
Amsterdam at nine on Sunday morning belongs briefly to cleaners, runners, dogs and people like me who have somehow ended up awake. # I was outside at nine this morning,...
Traditions & Culture
Saturday Beer
A Saturday beer tastes better when nobody needs anything from the rest of the afternoon. # Beer on Saturday. Simple. We went out after lunch, stayed longer than intended, talked,...
Affinity & Heart
Vrijdag
Friday evening began with lipstick and ended with one heel in my hand. A traditional arc. # Work, home, shower, hair, black dress, boots rejected, heels chosen, perfume, Yuri waiting...
Affinity & Heart
The House When It Is Cold Outside
The colder the street becomes, the more clearly I can feel the shape of home around me. # Cold outside tonight. Not dramatic, just the kind that makes me cycle...
Body & Energy
It Works Better Than It Should
I cleaned faster yesterday because hardcore apparently convinces my body that dust is a competitive threat. # It works better than it should. I am considering a scientific paper. The...
Music & Sound
Hardcore Housekeeping
Domestic labour improves dramatically at 160 BPM. I will not be accepting peer review. # Hardcore housekeeping. Rotterdam Terror Corps, Nosferatu, The Viper, Endymion, vacuum cleaner, cleaning products, blonde woman...
Body & Energy
Days Without Plans
A day without plans is not empty. It is simply allowed to choose its own shape. # No plans today. Coffee late. Walked because the weather looked decent. Ended up...
Laws & Universe
Pluto Incoming
Pluto is still months away and I am already refreshing pages. This will become a problem. # Pluto incoming. July fourteen. I have written it down even though there is...
Why?
Because every thought leaves a trace. If something moved you, disturbed you, softened you, or made you think, leave it here, quietly.