Lightness
Nothing has been solved today because nothing was asking to be solved. # I feel light lately. I hesitated before writing that because happiness on a page can become unbearable...
Affinity & Heart
ECLIXAR
digital diary
Journal.
fragments of quiet intelligence
There is a manner in which certain things ask to be written, not so that they may be found, but because to exist in silence, for too long, eventually becomes insufficient. It is not urgency. It is something closer to a necessity that makes no noise, waiting patiently until it discovers the proper form. This archive was born in such a way.
Not as a diary. Not as a blog. Not as something that is updated merely for the sake of appearing alive. It is a place where certain thoughts come to rest, those which do not dissolve, those which return, those which insist with the silent obstinacy of things that truly belong to you...
Every article is a scene. Every word, a frame of something that would not have remained, had it not
been writtenFrom the archive.
Matter & Spirit
Water
I live surrounded by water and still notice it most when it catches light differently. # Water everywhere and yet some days I barely register it. Canals become streets in...
Laws & Universe
The Moon
The moon has the unfair advantage of looking meaningful even when it is simply doing what it always does. # Moon tonight, bright enough to make me stop while we...
Body & Energy
Warm Nights
Warm air after midnight makes adulthood temporarily feel like summer holidays again. # Warm night. Properly warm, the kind where leaving a place does not require the ritual of coat,...
Memory & Time
Photographs
A photograph proves that a second existed. It does not explain what the second meant. # I spent too long looking at photographs tonight. Old digital folders, newer Flickr sets,...
Memory & Time
Memory
Memory does not knock. It uses whatever door happens to be open. # A song did it today. Nothing unusual. Not even one of the songs I consciously attach to...
Beauty & Art
Clothes That Are Finally Pointlessly Summery
Today I wore something with absolutely no defensive relationship to weather. Freedom. # Proper summer clothes. No jacket hidden in bag like an anxious mother. No cardigan folded somewhere just...
Affinity & Heart
Vrijdag
Twenty-nine years old, Friday night, lipstick intact for approximately the first drink. # First Friday at twenty-nine. Exactly like Friday at twenty-eight, thankfully. I had worried my body might immediately...
Questions & Musings
Bicycles Parked Everywhere Except Somewhere Useful
Amsterdam has enough bicycles to construct a second Amsterdam entirely out of bicycles. # I love bicycles. I love my bicycle. I love living somewhere cycling is ordinary infrastructure rather...
Memory & Time
Twenty-Nine
I thought twenty-nine would feel like standing at the edge of something. It feels more like standing in my own kitchen with birthday flowers. # Twenty-nine. There, properly now. I...
Journey & Time
The City That Stays Awake
Tomorrow I turn twenty-nine and tonight Amsterdam seems determined to stay up with me. # Last night of twenty-eight. That sentence sounds much more dramatic than I feel. We went...
Affinity & Heart
Terraces
Every chair in Amsterdam appears to have migrated outside. # Terrace day. Coffee became lunch, lunch became another drink, and suddenly a significant portion of Saturday had passed while we...
Why?
Because every thought leaves a trace. If something moved you, disturbed you, softened you, or made you think, leave it here, quietly.