One Month Home
One month in this house and I already know which floorboard complains. # A month here. The boxes are gone. That sentence deserves celebration. Photographs up. Books out. Clothes where...
There is a manner in which certain things ask to be written, not so that they may be found, but because to exist in silence, for too long, eventually becomes insufficient. It is not urgency. It is something closer to a necessity that makes no noise, waiting patiently until it discovers the proper form. This archive was born in such a way.
Not as a diary. Not as a blog. Not as something that is updated merely for the sake of appearing alive. It is a place where certain thoughts come to rest, those which do not dissolve, those which return, those which insist with the silent obstinacy of things that truly belong to you...
One month in this house and I already know which floorboard complains. # A month here. The boxes are gone. That sentence deserves celebration. Photographs up. Books out. Clothes where...
The honeymoon with my new job lasted until something broke on Friday afternoon. Perfect. # Problems. Actual work problems. Deadline, browser behaviour, something that should have behaved and chose insurrection...
There. Balance restored. # Hardcore home. Headphones, bike, not too loud because I would like to hear traffic and remain alive, old tracks pushing the last office thoughts out of...
I have now exposed colleagues to the country-music half of my personality. The hardcore half is waiting. # Country at work. Not loudly. I possess social awareness. Playlist while concentrating,...
Today I realised I had gone several hours without thinking about being an immigrant. # That was the epiphany. Nothing grand. Work, coffee, CSS, lunch, bicycle, groceries, home. Hours. Then...
The system works beautifully once you stop improvising inside it. I am attempting to stop improvising. # Priority. Lanes. Signals. The Dutch cycling system is not chaos. That was my...
I am alive. The cyclist behind me has probably written a complaint to the municipality. # Not actually near death, Mom, if you are reading. Do not call. It only...
I have surrendered. I own a bicycle and apparently intend to participate in Dutch society. # Bike. Work. Me. Yes. I have finally accepted that living here while refusing to...
Friday is Friday in every language, but vrijdag looks much more serious about it. # Vrijdag. First work Friday where I felt less like the new person and more like...
A lunch break beside a canal still feels illegally picturesque for a workday. # Lunch outside. Canal. Colleagues. Food balanced awkwardly because nobody designs canal edges for office ergonomics. I...
The light stayed long enough after work that I noticed. That is all I needed. # Spring. Technically. I don’t trust Dutch weather enough to make emotional commitments, but there...
I have developed the unreasonable desire to inconvenience everyone for educational purposes. # I told Yuri I need a badge saying PLEASE DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH TO ME UNLESS I...
Why?
Because every thought leaves a trace. If something moved you, disturbed you, softened you, or made you think, leave it here, quietly.