QUERY_INITIATED

Journal.

fragments of quiet intelligence

There is a manner in which certain things ask to be written, not so that they may be found, but because to exist in silence, for too long, eventually becomes insufficient. It is not urgency. It is something closer to a necessity that makes no noise, waiting patiently until it discovers the proper form. This archive was born in such a way.

Not as a diary. Not as a blog. Not as something that is updated merely for the sake of appearing alive. It is a place where certain thoughts come to rest, those which do not dissolve, those which return, those which insist with the silent obstinacy of things that truly belong to you...

Eclixar Journal

Every article is a scene. Every word, a frame of something that would not have remained, had it not

been written

From the archive.

One Month Home
Memory & Time

One Month Home

One month in this house and I already know which floorboard complains. # A month here. The boxes are gone. That sentence deserves celebration. Photographs up. Books out. Clothes where...

Problems
Networks & Codes

Problems

The honeymoon with my new job lasted until something broke on Friday afternoon. Perfect. # Problems. Actual work problems. Deadline, browser behaviour, something that should have behaved and chose insurrection...

Hardcore on the Way Home
Music & Sound

Hardcore on the Way Home

There. Balance restored. # Hardcore home. Headphones, bike, not too loud because I would like to hear traffic and remain alive, old tracks pushing the last office thoughts out of...

Country at the Office
Music & Sound

Country at the Office

I have now exposed colleagues to the country-music half of my personality. The hardcore half is waiting. # Country at work. Not loudly. I possess social awareness. Playlist while concentrating,...

Epiphanies
Questions & Musings

Epiphanies

Today I realised I had gone several hours without thinking about being an immigrant. # That was the epiphany. Nothing grand. Work, coffee, CSS, lunch, bicycle, groceries, home. Hours. Then...

Right of Way Is a Religion Here
Logic & Form

Right of Way Is a Religion Here

The system works beautifully once you stop improvising inside it. I am attempting to stop improvising. # Priority. Lanes. Signals. The Dutch cycling system is not chaos. That was my...

First Near-Death Experience on a Bicycle
Body & Energy

First Near-Death Experience on a Bicycle

I am alive. The cyclist behind me has probably written a complaint to the municipality. # Not actually near death, Mom, if you are reading. Do not call. It only...

Cycling to Work
Body & Energy

Cycling to Work

I have surrendered. I own a bicycle and apparently intend to participate in Dutch society. # Bike. Work. Me. Yes. I have finally accepted that living here while refusing to...

Vrijdag
Traditions & Culture

Vrijdag

Friday is Friday in every language, but vrijdag looks much more serious about it. # Vrijdag. First work Friday where I felt less like the new person and more like...

Lunch by the Canal
Journey & Time

Lunch by the Canal

A lunch break beside a canal still feels illegally picturesque for a workday. # Lunch outside. Canal. Colleagues. Food balanced awkwardly because nobody designs canal edges for office ergonomics. I...

Spring
Body & Energy

Spring

The light stayed long enough after work that I noticed. That is all I needed. # Spring. Technically. I don’t trust Dutch weather enough to make emotional commitments, but there...

And I Want to Force Them to Speak Dutch to Me
School & Learning

And I Want to Force Them to Speak Dutch to Me

I have developed the unreasonable desire to inconvenience everyone for educational purposes. # I told Yuri I need a badge saying PLEASE DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH TO ME UNLESS I...